So here I am again. Writing from the metro. Going home looking like Abu if he was a pahadi dealer (brother, tere liye kya piece laya hoon, full power) listening toCerebral Ballzy I haven't written to you in a while because I feel like I have nothing to say. As usual I dunno if this will reach you or not. Usually people write about 'major transitions' like starting their M.A (Modern Indian history at the place where everyone assumed I'd go because I looked the part) but for me it's pretty much the same. I go to class (late, as always) with blinkers on, talk to only the people I know from before (not because I am a cliquey bitch as has been implied but because I am a socially awkward penguin, and I'm not very good at making conversation. Ok also a little bit bitchy) and fuck right off as soon as class is over. I'm not a particularly diligent student, I haven't got really excited about a paper yet. I mostly feel like an idiot in class (that's what happens when you remove big fish from their small ponds) and as is my weakness, don't want anyone to notice me as I skulk around. I haven't felt the overwhelming awe and excitement that people expect me to feel when I'm here, nor have I attended a single non-class event (I'll get better, I promise). I still live 'jamna par' and would rather spend an hour commuting back to my fortress than cut the umbilical chord and launch headfirst into adulthood and responsibilities and independence or whatever the fuck I'll have to do eventually.
But I'm still 20 (younger than most of my classmates). And hence technically entitled to a few more years of wasting my time and pretending to have existential crises as an excuse to get high.
Chunni - 'Bro man I feel like a worm. I feel so stupid there, everyone knows their shit'
Dev - 'Dude, you're fine man. We're good at what we do'
Chunni - 'What exactly is it that we do?'
Dev - 'We're Articulate Party People'


Wake up before the alarm and try to force yourself back to sleep before the buzzer snatches it from you. Get on the metro blasting Circle Jerks and sit on the floor reading your Mishima book. Go to the one class where the only objective is to stay awake. Next class is cancelled and you're pissed about why you came in the first place but you're actually talking to people and suddenly you're in a good mood? And that cute girl is around and asks you for a cigarette and your older friend emerges in an oversized trench coat and he's making joint smoking gestures. Park the car and light up. Trees and waterlogged lanes. Welcome to Jamrock. Our campus is a perfect place to get stoned and we're discussing how we need to get together a crew of brashly stylish unpolitical badasses and form a Swag Party. Get on the metro.



When I get home it's time to eat and sleep like a regular human being drop off into Friday afternoon pre-game unsatisfactory sleep which is broken by Dev calling frantically for me to come over RIGHT NOW!!! So I do, listening to The Death Set   And as usual we're going to Khan. Dev gets reprimanded by the hairdresser who chats away and performs expensive maneuvers on her hair and talks scientifically about hair products. Back at Chonas we're getting drunk and Dikra starts a tirade about his work going high pitched and screaming about his work "MUSHROOM KI DAAL KAUN KHATA HAI BHENCHOD! SUTTA BHI NAHI PEETE RANDI MADARCHOD" and how his life has been reduced to anticipating thepla in his tiffin and then he's just screaming "FAAAAKKKK". Everyone is getting aggro about work and college and we order several more rounds of drinks and the nice bhaiyya gives us cigarettes and gave us a discount on our bill even though we beyond past happy hour. DJ's parents aren't home and we descend into his house. Attempts are made into breaking into his parents booze cupboard ("they don't even drink!" being the logic) and A.Bhabhi does the trick with a pair of scissors  and we're all damn proud of her and grab armfuls of bottles of fancy boozes. Johnny Walker and JD. There's a karaoke machine and Kaltricks is rolling and for some reason we're singing "I just called to say I love you" very badly. DJ and Dikra are indulging in some S&M. Dikra was trying to sleep and DJ is whipping him with his belt and in the tussle they throw me off the bed (my back bone still hurts from where it hit the floor) Finally Diks locks himself in a room. I think we were watching American Pie (WHY?) at some point and I was asking irrelevant questions. Kaltricks and A.Bhabhi retreat to the honeymoon suite (mummy papa always get the best room) and Dev and Chunni are having a goodnight class of whiskey at 5am and I don't remember when we drop off to sleep on one couch each. In the morning Dev wakes me up at some unearthly hour with her hungover chatting (she always gets hyper post-drunkenness) and we go to the chemist with the sun searing through us and the booze sloshing in our unfed stomachs and feel like we're drowning in the fucking mad backlanes and traffic chaos of Preet Vihar in our rickshaw. When we return there is a minor crisis of the window to Dikra's car being left open in the morning and DJ is doing some tough love character building lesson by hiding Diks' laptop (he saw the window open in the morning and luckily the laptop was there so he took it) and making Dev feel super guilty for leaving the window open. Then the fucker now locks himself in a room (everyone needs to stop doing this!) and sleeps because the bhand yogi that he is couldn't sleep till 9am. Dikra, Shanno and I fire up the karaoke machine and Dikra is in competitive mood and wants to get a perfect score in this stupid machine and we're singing "Gulabi Ankhein" and "Neele neele ambar" and fucking Kaho na pyar hai songs. Dev and I decide to embrace our inner 14 year old girls and sing Lady Marmalade and Teenage Dirtbag and then Smells like Teen Spirit and jump around and yell our lungs out. Mummy Papa wake up and we smoke a goodmorning joint and then we have to go home. I thought I was going to go home today, hahaha.

Nish is giving away her clothes and we go to her house and I return with a swag bag full of handmedowns. We're lazing and trying to avoid going out anywhere because we feel too lazy but then decide to visit the Magpie at her new apartment. We go, buy wine, buy momos and noodles and have a night in. As always there's some sex and the city type talk. The girls are talking about something called Pretty Little Liars and I sit that conversation out. We think of going out because we have no booze left but by the time we decide it's kinda late and we're too lazy so we sit at home and catch up on post-college developments. Wake up and I decide to skip the afternoon's social engagements (lunch with school folk) and go home hungry and groggy and greet my mother the usual post-weekend voice, my throat slashed by the blades of whiskey and cigarettes and the high decible swearing that constitutes conversation with my friends.
Now I'm in bed, wondering whether to post this pointless bullshit or not because Dev was already there when all this transpired and you distant anonymous lurkers (thank you for being one of my kind) probably don't care how I spent my weekend and frankly must be quite tired of my frat boy who has once read Bukowski and thinks he's cool type posts about getting high. So I'm pulling the covers over my face, shutting my dry eyes and listening to the Shakey Rays and trying to catch some sleep before I have to be in that stuffy classroom with sleep and a sense of inadequecy creeping up on me.