Pretty Vacant Diaries

We were at Fashion Week, shooting for a client, trying to sneak in product placement (yes yes, my soul has been auctioned away for a pitiable amount) anywhere we could. And drinking a lot of different teas, since no one else seems to be. As usual, the client demands more than he paid for. And we subtly try to tell him 'itna paisa mein itnaich milenga'.

I've been sitting for 45 minutes with my camera before the first show started, listening to people yell at each other and the lighting person and the models through mics. We're saving our spot, there are 3 videographers there already who are doing the live feed, so we're lower in the pecking order, we don't even have all access passes. 10 minutes before the show starts a sea of camera men swarms in, jostling for space. I'm standing on a stool on my tiptoes, keeping my elbows out to save my spot. The pit is wobbly and anytime someone shifts my tripod shakes. Sunil bhaiyya is perched somewhere, guarding our bags with his life. A cameraman next to me, wearing an air of Condescension (by Calvin Klein) makes me shift things around a bit and squeezes in, I have an elbow next to my head. The man asks me who I'm with, if this is my hobby, if I've done a course. No, but I still have a camera and I'm going to be right fucking here. I'm the only chick in the pit (until some still photographers come later on, but they sit, ahead of us, with better views) and people use 'helping the lady' as an excuse to passive-aggressively/sneakily inch their tripods ahead. 'Oh I'm not taking your stool, I'm holding it for the lady'. 

Some of the clothes are nice but I'm quite bored and the models walk to fucking slow, lets go lets go lets get this over with. Client to me - 'you shoot? I thought you were a director or something. With such a frail body, carrying all this equipment'

The rest of the day is spent walking around the venue, drinking tea, trying to get shots of people doing the same, checking out people's clothes (some of them are fine but I haven't seen anything that I'd love to wear), checking out models (only one girl who looked like Melanie Laurent really caught my eye). We're bored of waiting around between shows. As usual people from my school are everywhere, but the two that I did see are nice.

Show number 2. Pre show preparations:

'the boys should look like young handsome suitors. I need a glazed look on the eyes girls. Boys, young arrogance' 

'Boys look at what you're doing. Are you demented? I don't know who told them to go to the loo without asking us. Call them I want to fucking do this right now.'

'I need the girls here right now before I chop off your heads'

'What on earth have you done with the chandelier it looks like a potli. It looks like a blob of white lump no ones going to get it.'

'Its for the press to get no one else gets it anything.'

'Take it out it looks horrible' *10 screaming men* 'utar de utar de oyeeee.'

Trying to shoot events (or most things) is like being Faizal Khan, everyone is like 'permission Lena chahiye'. Hate fighting with security guys. They bounce us to the PR guys who bounce us to some FDCI chick who says its ok but after a while some other dude comes and tells us to fuck off. We go storming over to the client and tell him ki bro shot nahi milega aise. He runs around like a headless chicken for a bit and at the end of the day we still don't have the actual all access/backstage access.

The show starts. Everyone is checking everyone out, trying to find out if you're somebody. Some of the clothes are good to look at but the models walk even slower for this one. I get bored and my shoulders hurt. 

Obvious things that really strike you when you're actually at a fashion show 1) models are really fucking skinny 2)  they look vacant no matter what. 

Oh wait, so celebrity spottings? Shilpa Shetty was the showstopped for Tarun Tahiliani, with Harman freaking Baweja who no one really gave a shit about.

And I was sneakily taking a shot of Lisa Ray as she had her tea made and was talking to someone about her treatment etc and then she noticed me after a while and went :O but laughed good naturedly as I said 'I'm sneaky' and then asked if I could take a shot of her drinking tea, she said sure and continued chatting. She actually is very pretty. 

I'm waiting to see if I ever see Indrani Dasgupta or Lakshmi Menon because I want my heart to stop. 

Ok, don't have anything else to report.